


靜·殤 Mourning in Silence

by VirginieZ



Category: Táng Cháo | Tang Dynasty RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, Battlefield, Brotherly Love, Brothers in Arm, Fighter/Sacrifice, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Historical Accuracy, Historical Inaccuracy, Major Character Injury, Male Friendship, Military, Rescue, Tears
Language: 中文
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 14:04:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18345176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirginieZ/pseuds/VirginieZ
Summary: PLEASE FIND THE ENGLISH VERSION ON THE NEXT CHAPTER :)During the beginning of the Tang Dynasty, Li Shimin led his extraordinary troops in many victorious battles. However, amidst the excitement, Cheng Yaojin felt the missing presence of his late comrade, Pei Xingyan. One night, sitting next to his friend Qin Shubao, he recalled the moments Xingyan and him had spent together, years ago.





	1. 憶少年將軍裴行儼

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Only the year and very general events are real. Months, setting, people present, dialogues, age, order of events, etc. are mostly made up.

 皮鞭抽下，一聲響，把空氣都劈成兩半。秦王李世民率領幾千重騎，黑如煤炭，衝入敵人陣中。敵陣大亂。團團黑影如入無人之境，左右衝殺，渾入一體。

那年，天策玄甲軍大獲全勝。

而他卻不在。

皎潔的月光把兩人的身影披上一層銀色薄紗。涼風輕撫旗幟，營內一片寂靜。

又是一輪新月。

四年前的那天，也曾是新月，彎彎如鐮刀。“挺秀氣呢!“

“什麼呀，我說。“

“啊，沒什麼，說月亮好看。”

我晚上沒事，出來走走，剛好路過。背著手，沒想搭理那人感嘆。好看就好看唄，能咋的？

走近前，本想置之不理，但還是瞅了一眼。他盤坐在一塊青石上，手拄在身後，仰望著星空，很是悠然自得。黑髮綁成一個髻，有幾綹垂在肩上。微微揚起嘴角，明亮的雙眼在劍眉下閃爍，映著漫天星辰，對人不太理睬。

旁邊的人，是羅士信。大大咧咧，誰都知道。

“嗨！程將軍！”

“嗨，士信。”為難的一笑。

“到這兒來坐坐？俺兄弟，行儼。” 拍著那少年的背，挺驕傲的。他淡然一笑，坐直了，一拱手：“程將軍晚上好。幸會。”

挺有禮貌的呢！我也拱手：“幸會。”

我有點不情願。士信旁邊的陌生人，好像見過。這兩天新加入的人不少，魚龍混雜。

士信給我讓了個坐，我挨著那個什麼行儼。他也有點緊張，往旁邊挪了挪。還是士信大方，主動出話題，我們也就聊了起來。

“戰亂年間，有如此明月，難得！“

不同凡響的孩子。

後來我們都是大將軍，日夕相處，一起訓練士兵，行軍作戰。他帶著騎兵團，戰鬥力不一般。

發現他也挺熱情，就是平常不愛說話，也不做什麼顯眼的事。沒事就站在那，有時微笑著。

印象最深，是那雙眼，清亮透徹，目光炯炯。偶爾單獨聊天時，仔細看，透著悲情。

一晃就是一年。

營帳裡氣氛緊張。王世充小人進攻，我和叔寶，雄信他們商量對策，李密好像也在。行儼他爹也在。這時帳簾一抖，他走進來，一臉興奮，眼睛比往常還亮。

“小將軍，請！” 叔寶是熱心腸的人。

他拱手：“不敢。“

大家坐好，繼續商量。最後決定：雄信去偃師城迎敵。餿主意！

結果就打敗了。我們就像蜜蜂一樣，團團轉，還挺慢。

他正在喝水。等他喝完，還沒放下碗，我就拍著他的肩：“行儼，跟我去幫雄信！“

“是！“

他沒遲疑，也沒含糊。不到半個時辰就到城門口會合，全裝貫帶，身後幾千精騎。臨行時老將軍與他告別。他的衣甲在夕陽下金光閃閃。

還沒到偃師，就遇上王小人的兵了，喊殺聲震耳欲聾，螞蟻似的人潮湧來。他一撥馬，奮勇上前，請命要打頭陣。

“好，你小心。”

望著他與手下騎兵急馳而去的身影，我信心挺足：熟悉的一幕。

很快就被敵軍給淹沒了，我只能隱約看見他的頭盔，銀色的，盔纓猛烈的來回甩。

突然那些都不見了。

“不好！我們上！”

長槊一揮，我沒多等一秒，打馬狂奔直衝敵陣，遇著人就刺。他回不來，我也不回來！

我軍的盔甲很容易辨別。圈內圍著層層敵軍，水洩不通。他肯定在那兒！我就不信了？！

一抬手，刺倒幾個人。沒兩下他們就讓開了。怕了吧，哈哈！

我縱馬往前一衝，進入圈中。

地上血肉狼藉。他倒在地上，臉朝下。

我急了。

“裴行儼！！！“

他沒動靜。

這時我們手下的士卒已經擋住敵軍，開始了激戰。我這時也豁出去了，跳下馬衝到他身前，把槊扔在一邊，抱起他。臉上已經沒有血色，但是全是血，嘴裡身上都是。“行儼！”我晃了他幾下，他緊閉著眼，身子像個麻袋，一點勁兒沒有。事不遲疑，將他抱在懷裡，腦袋就搭在我肩上。站起來翻身上馬，他的頭來回劇烈一擺。我覺的臉溫溫熱熱的。

敵人又圍過來了。我大吼一聲，輪起槊，殺出圈外。他們越圍越緊，我瘋了似的衝殺。兄弟的命就在我身上！

那些膽小鬼，嘿，被殺散了！

兵貴神速，就趁現在，跑！

但不管我怎麼抽，這馬就是快不起來。有一剎那，我慌了。

“去死吧！”

咋有人離我這麼近？！腰間怎麼這麼涼？低頭一看有條槊在腋窩底下斜刺裡穿出。

“喝啊——！”

我猛的一回身，胳膊用力一夾。啪，槊斷了。我一反手，從敵將手裡搶過來。他面對我，是嚇壞了吧！我這麼一扎，就報了仇。

橫衝直撞，沒人敢再擋我！

雄信肯定就在城下。我一手緊抱著他，一手攥著韁繩。到大營才有活路！

怎麼到的記不清了，就知道有人拉住我的馬，我才停了下來。人聲嘈雜，他們圍著我，我挺緊張。怎麼了？懷裡的人還是沒動靜。想把我拽下馬？！沒門！

“程將軍，是雄信！快下馬，否則有性命之憂！”

我一下放鬆了，被拽下了馬。我想把行儼抱到軍醫大營，但他們把我倆扯開，他被抬走了。我想去追。剛邁出一步，就天旋地轉，全倒過來了。我聽他們喊將軍，然後就是一片黑暗，什麼都沒有……

記憶好像斷了一截。

再有意識，是一個很大的帳篷。昏暗、味道極其難聞。我眨了幾下眼睛，看看周圍。我左右兩邊一排一排全是傷員。行儼呢？！他還好嗎？還……在嗎？

士卒們來來往往。想揮手叫個人，但發現哪也動不了，包括腦袋。渾身沒勁兒，還特別疼。然後就不知道了。

再度甦醒，有人在給我擦臉。

“喔，將軍，您醒了。”

“嗯……”我好累，嗓子好疼，感覺全身都是空的，就又閉上眼睛。

“將軍，將軍？您感覺怎樣？想不想喝點水？吃點什麼？”

好煩呀。但是我確實渴了。

那個人給我弄了點水，餵我躺著喝，又給了我點吃的，味道不錯。我也有了點勁兒。

“行儼，裴行儼，他在哪？”我想坐起來。那人把我按住。

“將軍別急。您問裴將軍嗎？”

“嗯。”

“將軍您旁邊的士兵，小人聽單將軍說，姓裴。不知……”那人跪在我右邊，示意躺在我左邊的人。

我用力扭頭，想看看我左側士兵的容貌。他平躺著，雙目緊閉，面色慘白，胸前不正常的鼓起一塊，額頭還放著塊布，頭髮散亂。看側臉，確實有點像，但還不確定。

“他叫什麼名？”

“小人不知……”

“看看枕頭底下。”

那人小心翼翼走到昏睡的士兵旁邊，伸手在枕下摸了一會。掏出塊兒玉佩遞給我。上面寫著“河東裴行儼”，翻過來另一面是一匹馳聘駿馬。

我的眼淚就像泉水一樣。他還活著，而且就在我身邊！

後來我讓他那人把玉佩重新放在行儼枕下，從被裡伸出手，握住行儼的。他的手乾燥並灼熱無比，但是指尖冰涼。我渾身都在疼，心更疼。

睡去了，不知何時又醒來，是晚上。我看看他，沒動靜，除了胸口不均勻的起伏。仔細聽，隱約有嘶嘶作響。無能為力，只有再次握起他的手。

“行儼……“

他眼皮抽動了兩下，竟然睜開了眼睛，望向我。

眼中多了一層迷離。

“將軍……”聲音極其沙啞，我都認不出來了。

“想不想喝點水？我幫你叫人。”我十分心疼。從沒見過他這樣。以前頂多看他精疲力盡，睡覺的樣子。第二天仍是神采奕奕的。

“……嗯……”他又閉上了眼睛。

我努力舉起手，揮了揮。來往的士卒很快就來了一位。喝水時，他嗆了一下，咳嗽不止。看他眉頭緊皺，一定很疼……

那是我最難過的一晚。

日子一天天過去，我們就這麼躺著，動彈不得。後來問了一個軍醫，他告訴我，行儼的傷比我重許多，他的存活都是個奇蹟。身上槊傷就有十多處，還被流矢射在胸前，肋骨都碎了。那天抬進來後，他就一直沒有醒來，高燒、滴水未盡，直到那個晚上我叫他才醒，後來燒也退了。但是痊癒還需時日。

軍醫還說，我是他見過最幸運的人，被洞穿了身體還沒傷到內臟。

這期間行儼沒怎麼和我說話，就有一次問我怎麼樣，然後就睡了。我醒著的時候他基本都在睡覺。偶爾我倆都醒了，我就給他講叔寶他們來看我時候的事。他只是微笑不語，眸子裡透著憂傷。

我恢復的速度明顯比他快，十天之後我就能勉強自己坐起來，不用人扶。我經常給他擦手、擦臉。他這時體力也恢復了不少，我們沒事就天南地北的閒談。

別看他小，學識卻甚是深遠，尤其愛好古詩。我得知他從小一直很結實，但父母年紀太大，又無兄弟姐妹，就養成了沉默寡言、事不關己的性格，所幸家教甚嚴，沒那麼嬌縱，反而性情溫和。十四歲隨父從軍，也見識過不少瘡痍。這次他傷的最嚴重。

“程將軍，我不愛打仗。“

一個月後，我已經能扶著叔寶行走，但他卻還坐不起來。我們倆對作戰的情況渾然不知，叔寶士信也盡量瞞著我們，說什麼等好了再說。

有一天下午，我正在睡覺，突然被喊殺聲驚醒。剛剛坐起，看看有什麼事，一群人就衝了進來。

是敵軍！

他還在睡覺。“行儼，醒醒！”

他被驚醒，可已經晚了。敵人毫不客氣，一人一個，把傷員抬走，我想站起來保護行儼，背他出去。奈何體力不支，動作不夠敏捷，只能眼睜睜看著一個敵軍粗魯的抱起他。他的頭被向後甩，再向前甩，搭在敵人背上，被扛了出去。我也被背出營外。

那真是一片混亂，我軍、敵軍、和傷員，騎馬的、步行的，還有爬的，亂成一團。行儼已不見了踪影。

再次見到他是半個月後，我們已屬反賊王世充旗下。我閒暇無事，洛陽城內到處走走。偶然間看見老將軍裴仁基站在樹下，仰天嘆息。

“裴將軍，末將有禮。”

“程將軍快快請起，失敬。恩公您別來無恙？”

後來我去他們家看行儼，他還在臥床。我坐在床邊陪他說話，一次就是一下午。自此我經常去找他。他動不動叫我恩公，挺尷尬。還告訴我，王世充看他年少英俊、驍勇善戰，想把鄭國公主許配給他。我很不屑：“不都說他是小人？”

“唉，我豈不知。形勢所迫，不得如此。”

他婚禮上，我也高興的慶祝。畢竟兄弟嘛，喜事大家一起高興。羅士信拍著他的肩頭說，“沒想到你也有這麼一天！”

可不是呢。

時日久了，他每每來我住所做客、抱怨。說什麼如此心地狹小之人，保他何用？不如去投奔大唐。

我勸他再忍些日子。已是國戚，怎能隨意叛逃？

他輕聲嘆息，沒說什麼。

我卻再也忍不住了。

記的那天，我和身旁的人陣前投唐。詼諧卻也壯烈。

兩個月後接到兇信：“裴仁基父子叛變，斬首，夷其三族。”

是那麼的突然，倉促……

臨別時，他微笑著。一身藍衣，頭上飄帶也是碧藍的，坐下一匹白馬，腰間佩著銀劍。還跟我開玩笑，以後在大唐找到我們，和我們比試武藝看誰能贏。他眼裡映著落日，像蕩漾的清波。告辭後，我和叔寶頭也沒回，領兵離去。那一天的笑顏，真的是最後一次嗎？

那年他才二十歲。

兄弟，算什麼？！不就是一時的溫暖，終究還是流落異鄉，生死永別！

為什麼當時沒帶他一塊兒走？！

再沒人用那雙真摯，澈亮的眸，靜靜的看他。再也沒人能讓他輕輕呼喚：“行儼……“。

“咬金#，別傷心了。”   
#秦瓊私底下還叫程知節為“咬金“。

淚水直到今日還在淌。

秦瓊輕輕握住程知節的手，一語不發的望著他。晶瑩的液體滴下… …

“… …行儼也不是故意的。“良久，秦瓊低聲撫慰。“我們都曾為對方出生入死，我知道。但生死有命，不是人所能控制的。天賜予我們，能做一世的兄弟… …”他頓了一下，又哽咽了。

"以後還有很長的路，需要你我勇敢的活下去。”

“嗯。”

* * *

知道的，已成為歷史。

不知道的，是一件件汗濕的外衣。

是那些夜裡，對著月光，悄然滴下的淚。

是那天城下父親按著他的肩，沉重的話語：

“行儼，不論如何，你一定要活下去！要活下去……“

是那一箭天翻地覆，和接下來永無止境的刺傷。

是泊泊流出的鮮血和努力嚥下的痛苦呻吟。

是刑場上剛毅的目光和最後一滴淚。

是倒下後，噴盡滿腔熱血，英魂不散！

行儼，你一向擅長馬術，槊也使的極佳。你號稱萬人敵。

當年的少年將軍和以往的酸甜苦辣，總有一天會隨風而逝、去而不返。

行儼，你在哪？

天策玄甲軍，少你一人！

一輪新月靜靜掛在夜空中。

～·～·～全文完～·～·～


	2. In Memory of the Young General, Pei Xingyan

 

 

The leather whip whooped sharply, as if slicing the air apart. Thousands of heavily armored cavalry troops, led by Li Shimin, the Lord of Qin, charged into the enemy lines. The enemies were drove into complete chaos. As if nobody was around, fighting furiously, were the single, massive cloud of black shadows, as dark as coal.

That year, Tian Ce Xuan Jia troops achieved total victory.

But he was not there.

Rays of moonlight shone upon two figures, giving each of them a layer of silver muslin. Chilly breeze stroke the flags gently; everything was calm in the camp.

It was a new moon, again.

On that day four years ago, it was a new moon as well. It curved like a sickle. “Quite dainty!”

“What’s the matter, I say?”

“Uh, nothing, saying the moon’s pretty.”

I finished my tasks that night, took a walk, and encountered them by accident. I had my hands behind me and ignored that person’s exclamation.  _Yeah, it is beautiful, so what?_

I stroked nearer, wishing to ignore entirely, but took a glance nevertheless. He sat with leg crossed on top of a large stone, leaning on his arms behind him; on the face, looking at the sky, was a carefree expression. His black hair was tied into a bun but with several streaks on his shoulder. Lips were tilted slightly upward, and the eyes, shining brightly under his dashing brows, reflected millions of stars. He didn’t notice people much.

Next to him sat Luo Shixin. That casual, reckless lad, everyone knew him.

“Hey, General Cheng!”

“Hey, Shixin.” I gave him a troubled smile.

“Wanna have a seat? My bro, Xingyan.” He yelled while slapping the boy’s back proudly. The boy grinned faintly, sat upright, and presented his greetings, “Good evening, General Cheng. It is nice to meet you.”

Quite a polite kid! I gave my greetings as well. “Nice to meet you too.”

I was a bit unwilling. I might have seen the stranger next to Shixin somewhere. There were tons of new people entering these days, who knew who was good or bad.

Shixin left a space for me on the rock, and I took a seat near that so called Xingyan. He seemed a bit nervous, too, shifting a little bit away from me. Being an open lad, Shixin started the topic and we chatted away.

“Wars are breaking out here and there, but we get such a beautiful moon, how precious!”

A unusual boy.

Later, we all became generals and were with each other day and night, drilling troops together and fighting side by side. He led the cavalry troops; their combat power were not of ordinary.

The most memorable part was that pair of eyes: clear and bright, shining with vitality. Very occasionally, when we were alone together and if I observed closely, there were traces of sadness.

Time flew like an arrow. A year went by.

The atmosphere inside the tent was tense and unnerving. That wicked Wang Shichong started an attack. Shubao, Xiongxin, me, and some others were devising a plan. Li Mi was there, too, as well as Xingyan’s dad. Just then, the flaps shook, parted, and he walked in, beaming, eyes brighter than usual.

“Young general, please have a seat!” Shubao was indeed a nice guy.

He bowed. “I dare not.”

We settled down and continued with the discussion. The final solution was to let Xiongxin meet the enemies at the City of Yanshi. Terrible plan!

So we lost the battle. We were like bees, scurrying in circles, in slow motion.

He was taking a drink. After he finished, not waiting for him to put down the bowl, I slapped him on the shoulder. “Xingyan, come with me to help Xiongxin!”

“Aye, sir!”

He did not hesitate nor delay. After less than one hour, he, with full armors on and leading several thousands of elite cavalry troops, joined me in front of our city gate. Before departure, the old general bade farewell with him, whose armors shone golden rays under the afternoon sun.

We had not yet reached Yanshi when we encountered the atrocious enemies. Shouts and war whoops were deafening. Soldiers, like ants, advanced forward in waves. He turned his horse and asked, with great vigor, for permission to attack first.

“Okay, be careful.”

Watching him charge away with his cavalries, I was quite confident: this familiar scene!

Soon, the enemies submerged his figure. I could only see his helmet, silver-colored, and the tassel, swinging about wildly.

Suddenly, all of these disappeared.

“Oh no! Troops, charge!”

Waving my long spear, I didn’t wait for another second. I whipped my horse furiously, sped into the enemy lines like a ball of fire, stabbing whoever in my way.  _If he’s not coming back, I’m not either!_

Our troops were easy to identify. There was a circle of enemies, thick as a wall, inside the circle of our own troops. He must be in there!

There went several people to the ground as I raised a hand. They scattered not long after. Scared, eh!

I stormed into the broken circle.

It was a total mess. He lay there on the ground, facing downward.

I panicked.

“Pei Xingyan!!!”

He had not a little bit of movement.

By now, our troops had already held the enemies back, fighting fiercely. I let go of all thoughts whatsoever, leaped down from my horse and ran towards him, throwing the spear aside. I lifted him up. The face was already bloodless, but there was blood everywhere: in his mouth, all over his body. “Xingyan!” I shook him. He had his eyes tightly closed, and his body was like a big, heavy sack with no strength at all. There was no time to lose. I held him close to my chest, the head resting on my shoulder. I stood up and mounted my horse; his head swayed back and forth once. I felt warm and wet on my face.

The enemies closed in again. I roared, swung my spear around, and attempted to escape the circle. They closed in even more. I was fighting like crazy.  _Brother’s life depends on me!_

Those cowards, ha, were scared away!

Speed was very crucial. Now, run!

But no matter how I whipped it, this horse could not run any faster. There was a moment of real terror.

“Die now!”

_Why is someone so close to me?! Why is my waist so cold?_ I lowered my head and noticed a long spear penetrating my body sideways from behind.

“Ahhhhh----!”

I went mad, turned without warning, clutching my arm. The spear broke with a crack. I flipped my hand and seized it from the enemy general. He was face to face with me, must be scared to death! I stabbed once and got my revenge.

I rampaged back and forth. No one could ever block my path!

Xiongxin must be under the city wall. I hugged him close to me with one arm while the other hand squeezed the rein. We could only live if we reach the main camp!

How I arrived was unclear, but I knew that someone dragged my horse to a halt, and we came to a stop. There were people everywhere, they circled me; I was nervous. What happened? The person in my arm was still as a rock. Want to drag me off the horse?! No way!

“General Cheng, it’s Xiongxin! Please dismount, or else your life will be in danger!”

I relaxed at once and was brought down from the horse. I wanted to bring Xingyan to the First Aid Camp, but they separated us and took him away on a stretcher. I wanted to follow. But after just one step, the sky and earth rotated uncontrollably; everything reversed their positions. I heard them scream, “general”, and then everything went black. There was nothing… …

My memory was cut short.

The next time I was aware, I lay in a huge tent. It was dark and smelled awful. After blinking several time, I looked around. To the left and right of where I was, large numbers of wounded men lay in lines.  _Where is Xingyan?! Is he alright. Is he……still alive?_

Soldier were hurrying back and forth in a busy manner. I wanted to call someone, but not a single muscle could be moved, including my head. I was entirely deprived of energy plus in bad pain. Then I knew nothing.

The next time I woke up, a person was wiping my face.

“Oh, sir, you are awake.”

 “Hmmmm……” I was tired beyond imagination. My throat hurt; my entire body was a hollow tube. I closed my eyes.

“Sir, sir? How do you feel? Would you like some water, Or eat something?”

So annoying! But I was really thirsty.

That person brought me some water and fed it to me. He also gave me some food, which tasted fantastic. I gained some strength.

“Xingyan, Pei Xingyan, where is he?” I tried to sit up, but the person held me down.

“Please, sir, lie still. Are you asking about General Pei?”

“Mmm.”

“Sir, the soldier next to you, I heard General Shan said, has the surname of Pei. I wonder if… …” Kneeling on my right side, the person pointed to my left.

I turned my head with all my might, wanting to see how the soldier looked. He was lying on his back with eyes closed as if locked. The face was frightfully pale, and a unusual lump rose from his chest; a cloth was placed on his forehead. On the pillow was his loose, messy hair. From sideways, he looked like Xingyan, but I was not certain.

“What is his name?”

“I do not know, sir… …”

“Take a look under the pillow.”That person approached the unconscious soldier carefully, searched under his pillow, and gave me a piece of jade. Carved on it was “河東裴行儼“ （Pei Xingyan of Hedong）. The other side was a handsome, galloping horse.

My tears was like two rushing rivers.  _He‘s not only alive but lying right next to me!_

After making that person put his jade back under the pillow, I removed my hand from my quilt and held on to Xingyan’s. His hand was dry and burning, with cold fingertips. My entire body ached; my heart ached more.

It was nighttime after I woke from another long sleep. He was still when I looked at him, except for the uneven rise and fall of the chest. I listened intently; there were unnatural noises following each breath. Being helpless, I could only hold his hand once more.

“Xingyan… …”

His eyelids twitched, and, out of my surprise, he opened his eyes and looked at me.

There was a layer of mist in those eyes.

“Sir… …” Such a hoarse voice! I had trouble recognizing it.

“Do you want some water? I’ll call the nurse.” I pitied him from the deepest of my heart. I never saw him in such condition. Watching his exhausted sleep had been the most. The next day he was as good as new.

“… …Mmm… …” He closed his eyes again.

I raised my arm with difficulty and waved once or twice. Soon, a soldier approached. During the drink, Xingyan choked. He coughed for a long time. From the contorted brows, he must be in great pain……

That was the most excruciating night for me.

Days went by. We just lay there, unable to move. Later, I asked a physician about Xingyan. He told me that the wound Xingyan received was much severer than mine, and his survival was a true miracle. He was stabbed by spears on more than ten places plus that one arrow on the chest that shattered the ribs. After being brought into the tent, he remained unconscious for the entire time while burning from a raging fever; not a single droplet of water entered his body. He did not wake until the night when I called him. Afterwards, the fever subsided as well. But some time was needed to regain his health.

The physician also informed me that I was the luckiest person he had ever met in his entire career. My organs were untouched even after a spear pierced through my body.

During this period, Xingyan didn’t speak to me, except that time when he asked if I was well before falling asleep once more. He was sleeping most of the time when I woke. Rarely, when we were both awake, I would tell him about the times when Shubao and others came to visit me. He remained quiet as he listened, eyes shining with sorrow.

I healed considerably faster than he did. After ten days, I could sit up without help while he still could not. I often wiped his hands and face with a damp cloth. By that time, he had recovered some of his strength, and we talked about everything during spare time.

Although he was young, the knowledge he had was quite vast; he liked poems especially. I knew that he was born a strong child. However, as his parents were much older and he had no siblings, he developed a dislike for talking in front of people. Luckily, his family had strict rules, therefore he had a mild heart instead of being spoiled. His father brought him on military campaigns when he reached fourteen, where he experienced plenty of hardships. This time, he was wounded the worst.

 “General Cheng, I don’t like to fight.”

After a month, I was able to walk with Shubao’s support, but he could yet sit up. We two had no knowledge about the situation outside; Shubao and Shixin hid the news from us all the time, saying something like “get better first.”

One afternoon, while taking a nap, I was awaken by shouts and screams. I had just sat up to observe the situation when a crowd rushed in.

They were enemies!

He was still sleeping. “Xingyan, wake up!”

He startled awake at my call, but it was too late. The enemies had no mercy. They, one per person, carried the wounded out of the tent. I wanted to protect Xingyan and carry him on my back, but my strength failed me and I was too slow. I watched an enemy soldier lifting him up carelessly, his head being tossed back, than forward, dangling on the enemy’s back. As he was taken away, I was also carried outside.

That was a real mess. Our troops, enemy troops, and wounded men, on horse, by foot, or crawling… people were everywhere. Xingyan was already out of sight.

The next time I met him was half a month later, when we all belonged to that wicked Wang Shichong’s army. Out of boredom, I took a light stroke around the City of Luoyang. By chance, I saw the elderly general, Pei Renji, under a tree, sighing to the sky.

“My greetings, sir.”

“General Cheng, sir, please do not bow. My apologizes. My dear sir who saved his life, how are you?”

I later went to their home to meet Xingyan; he was still in bed. I sat on the edge of his bed and talked with him for the entire afternoon. From that time on, I went to see him often. He called me “my life saver” from time to time, to my embarrassment, and told me that Wang Shichong, knowing that he was young, handsome, and had brilliant fighting skills, wished him to marry the Princess of Zheng Kingdom. I sneered, “Don’t we all call him a fool?”

“Yeah, I know. But I have no choice.”

On his wedding ceremony, I celebrated wholeheartedly. We were brothers in arm anyways, so we would cheer together during happy moments. Luo Shixin, slapping his shoulder, yelled, “Never thought you’ll have such a day!”

Yet what was the good?

As time passed, when he came to visit me in my place, he complained often about how useless and vile Wang Shichong was. “What’s the point of protecting him?” he said, “It’s better to help the Tang.”

I advised him to bear with it for some more time. Being a relative of the king, he couldn’t just run away casually.

He let out a weak sigh and said nothing.

But I could bear it no longer.

I could recall that day when the person beside me and I surrendered to the Tang Dynasty. It was funny yet glorious.

Two months later, we received the news: “Pei Renji and his son committed treason and were beheaded along with their family.”

It was so sudden, so rushed... ...

Before we part, he was grinning, wearing blue clothes with light blue ribbons, riding on a white horse, with silver sword by his waist. He joked with me, saying he was to find us in the Tang territory and exchange martial arts skills with us, see who would win. His eyes, reflecting the afternoon sun, was like a shimmering pond. After we separate, Shubao and I left with our troops without turning back even once. The smile of that day… … was it really the last?

He was only twenty.

What’s the meaning of brotherhood?! Isn’t it just warmth momentarily, and would eventually end up in different places far away, separated by life and death!

Why didn’t I bring him with me!?

No one would gaze at him with that pair of sincere, lucid eyes. There would be no one to let him call, softly, “Xingyan… …”

 “Yaojin, don’t be sad.”  
(Qin Qiong called Cheng Zhijie “Yaojin” when they were alone.)

Tears were flowing until this date.

Qin Qiong squeezed the hand of Cheng Zhijie gently and looked at him without a word. Glimmering liquid dropped to the ground.

“… …Xingyan didn't do it on purpose,” after a long while, Qin Qiong soothed in a low voice. “We had been fighting for each others’ lives before, I understand. But life and death are controlled by Fate, and people can’t change that. What the Heaven gives us, to be brothers in arm for this lifetime……” He paused to swallow at the choking sensation.

 “A long road still lies before us, requiring you, and me, to live on with courage.”

“Hmmm.”

* * *

What was known had become history.

What was not known, were those outer garments, soaked with sweat.

They were the silent tears shed, on those moonlit nights.

They were the heavy words his father uttered that day, under the city wall.

“Xingyan, no matter what, you must live! You must live……”

They were the arrow that brought the sky and ground into chaos, and the never ending, piercing stabs.

They were blood that flowed freely and those suppressed moans of agony.

They were the steadfast stare on the execution site and the last drop of tear.

They were the youthful spirit, lingering, after his fall and spilling all his fervent blood.

Xingyan, you had amazing horsemanship, and you could handle your spear with great ease. You were named “The Opponent of Ten Thousands”.

The young general and all those stories in the past would eventually be forgotten with the wind, never to return.

Xingyan, where are you?

The troop of Tian Ce Xuan Jia was short by one person!

A clear moon, like a sickle, hang on the quiet night sky.

～·～·～The End～·～·～


End file.
